Hey, Ice Fishing Season is Over!

shynent sends in this dispatch from the Great White North.

Management in Minnesota knew they would have to open the checkbook to compete in the high-spending AL North. So they did just that, approving a $102 million payroll, and gave new GM shynent a simple mandate: sign Len Heiserman.

He couldn’t get it done, so now he has to hope his Plan B - free agent signings Steve Austin and Glendon Mercedes and young trade acquisitions Bunny Stoops and Don Harris - are enough to help fans forget about last season’s 94-loss nightmare.

Even if it’s not, shynent is hoping the name change to the North Stars will at least help move some merchandise.

“It’s a name with a lot of history up here,” he said. “Granted, that history was in another sport, but maybe we can fool some hockey fans into coming out and buying a few jerseys.”

If they do, they should be treated to a team that will score some runs. The rookie GM thinks his team should “hit a little bit” thanks to Austin, re-signed veteran 1B Don Foster and a fairly balanced lineup.

What he doesn't know is if the North Stars will be able to keep the opposition from scoring. Mercedes should provide solid starts, but the rest of the rotation is a crap shoot, and closer Del Holtz may get bored from a lack of save opportunities. Harris could use another year of seasoning in the minors, but Minnesota may not have that luxury.

“If he’s one of our top four guys, we’ll pretty much be forced to think about keeping him with the big club,” shynent said.

The offseason trade with San Francisco that brought Harris and Stoops into the fold raised a few eyebrows, as it came at the cost of top position prospect Harpo Dunn. But even in the cold of Minnesota, shynent knows that if he doesn’t find a way to guide the team to respectability soon, he’ll be feeling the heat.

“Look, we all know that Dunn is going to be a star, but it might be three seasons before he makes his first All-Star team,” he said. “If we keep losing 90-plus games a year, I’ll be run out of town on a rail before then.”

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