Slot work

ONLY IN AMERICA can an 18-year-old from Coleman, Mich. walk into a room and demand millions of dollars. And only in sports are people dumb enough to hand it over.

This brings us to the season nine amateur draft in the Wailing Onion. Usually I do the top 10 or 12 picks, which is about all I can take until getting bored. We'll see how this goes.

1. ST. LOUIS: Vernon Myers, RHP. This high school from Michigan is going to be a hero one day. Until then, his current ratings are better than some of my major leaguers. Gulp. Anyhow, great splits and control from this kid.

2. NAWLINS: Derrik McPherson, 2B. Arguably the best player in the draft, McPherson is a four-tooler, with speed as his only real downside. He has strong contact and power numbers and a solid eye. His defense isn't too shabby either.

3. SANTA FE: Dontrelle Harding, SS. The 19 year old has some growing up to do. Good contact. Great power. Meh splits and, for a shortstop, he has rightfielder's defensive projections.

4. MILWAUKEE: Norm Crawford, LHP. The first southpaw was a nice prize for the Miller Time. Strong splits and good control and velocity numbers from this kid.

5. CHICAGO(A): Geraldo Tavarez, RHP. Nineties splits. Mid-80s control. Solid glove. And the tool wants to finish college.

6. CINCINNATI: Willis Lindblom, SS. A legit shortstop (defensively), Lindblom has monster power numbers and solid splits. Downfall is mediocre contact.

7. WASHINGTON: Amos Sowders, RF. Great health and durability. Great power. Great splits. Great eye. And that's about it.

8. SEATTLE: Ariel Espinoza, 3B. Like my tires, Espinoza is well balanced. Mediocre contact, paired with solid splits, power and eye. His defense is pretty good too. Overall he's good, but not great.

9. MINNESOTA: Ham Thielman, RHP. Surprised that the Ham dropped this far, but that's likely due to his signability. Great control and velocity, and good splits. His health is troublesome. The Hammer remains unsigned.

10. VANCOUVER: Ajax Robbins, LHP. A lefty closer, Robbins mixes great control and velocity. Really, really strong durability and health numbers.

11. SAN ANTONIO: Junior Mendoza, SS. A shortstop built to play third base. When he makes contact, the ball is likely to fly. Strong power and splits and a really sharp defensive makeup. Good durability but lousy health, much like my wife.

12. FRESNO: Bill Elster, SS. Across the board, he's projecting on the cusp of a five-tooler. Of course, if he doesn't sign it could be a problem.

13. TEXAS: Melvin Baldelli, SS. Solid defense and good offense. The power is impressive. The splits are not.

14. ROCHESTER: Ivan Garces, LHP. Good control and splits for this 19 year old lefty. I'd be a little concerned about his near even flyball/groundball ratio.

15. NORFOLK: Sam Rando, LHP. Great velocity and control mix. Splits are good and the flyball/groundball ratio are meh.

Other notes:

• Garry Miller at the 33rd pick is the $1m break. No. 34 signed for $960,000.
• Round one lasted 57 picks with A and B supplementals.
• Mr. Irrelevant? Portland's unsigned pitcher Rudy Matthews. At pick No. 827, Rudy is a pitcher and even that is a stretch.
  

Week IV

The calendar says, "Thursday." My class doesn't show for another 45 minutes. I think it's time, ladies and gents, for week four of The Onions!.



We've bounced back here at Control from a nifty snowstorm which closed my office early, canceled my Thursday evening teaching assignment. Today, it got to the low 40s in Syracuse and most of last week's snow has melted. My in-laws, on vacay in Myrtle Beach, called to complain about the weather last night. I took the opportunity to make fun of them and said that next year, they should just give me the $500 they spent on airfare and I'll go on vacation.

Enough chatter.

TRENDSPOTTING

• Tip of the glass to reigny for clocking the longest losing streak in season nine. His 11-gamer heading into the PM2 cycle is keeping my underperforming bunch out of last place in the AL South.
• And while we're on the subject, thanks to Ralph and Mark for handing me a 1-7 record during our interleague meetings.
• Arizona's five-game winning streak is the current Best of the Bigs and is made even more impressive with their sub-.500 home record.
• Speaking of homewreckers (well, if you say it fast it kinda sounds the same), San Francisco is 31-9 on the road. Not what one would call a hospitable guest. They also have top record in the WO at 58-14.
• Boston's Howard Lee is toting the league's longest hit streak at 17 games. He's also sporting league highs in home runs (26) and RBI (82) and is this weeks The Onions! Player of the Week.
• Congratulations to Gene Koehlert, Texas' only league leader from the plate. His 317 at-bats are a source of Texans pride.
• AL pitching is leaving a bit to be desired this year. Of the top 20 pitchers in earned run average, THREE -- Lewis Harang of Rochester, Les Carroll of Chicago and Tom Miller of Texas -- are from the junior circuit. You know the pitching is bad when my team is in the equation.
• Allen Glynn earned two more wins this week, giving the Jacksonville starter 15 on the season. Barring an injury or one of Mark's players running him down with the bullpen cart, he will likely break the single-season wins mark held by Portland's Larry Dickens (24 last season).

WHAT ABOUT NERIO?
A new feature of The Onions!, we'll take a look at how everyone's favorite roid head, Nerio Turner, is faring. Suffice it to say, it's not going well in Washington for the 34-year-old. He has four hits in 13 at bats for the Senators. Nerio has one home run but only seven appearances thus far. Eek.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS OR-BER NIETO?
Another new feature, we'll try to track down the world traveling Orber Nieto as he tries to stay with one team for an entire season. All we need is Rock-a-pella to do the theme song.

Anyhow, Orber has been with Houston since a mid-season trade in season eight. In 55 games played, he is hitting .272-16-33 with a respectable .936 OPS. Unfortunately, the 32-year-old is out with a back injury for the next five cycles. This makes injuries to his back, shoulder, knee, hammy and hip during his career. But, with five teams in nine seasons, he's got to have some great frequent flier mileage.

DISABLED, DISMEMBERED AND DISEMBOWELED
Note: Disemboweled was the first "dis" word to come to mind. I need help.

A quick check of the disabled list shows one new member of the 60-day vacation club. Bartolo Cordero of Kansas City is gone for the season with a torn hamstring. Very nice. Five new entries on the 15-day include Hiram Boone and his blistered finger.

INTERNATIONAL FREE AGENTS
Amazing how baseball can mend fences between nations. Venezuelan-born third baseman Carlos Cervantes signed with Washington. Maybe one day Hugo Chavez and the United States will be able to put aside its differences. Of course, Cervantes' record setting $18.2m bonus payment would do it for me too.

NOTABLE TRANSACTIONS
There was one trade this week. St. Louis and San Francisco swapped minor leaguers.

A draft review is forthcoming. It'll take a few days as I'll be out of town this weekend.