A missive from madmuldoon

Your friend and mine madmuldoon sends this dispatch from the fringe.

It all started out innocently enough. A rainbow sticker here and there .A calender with the dates of our road games with San Fransisco, circled with Red hearts and the words "No MORE TEARS".Then the MR BUBBLES Virus started to take hold and spread like KY Jelley.

Coach Urbina knew we had a problem when the Bullpen dressed up as the Village People and were signing YMCA during the 7th inning stretch.Why Coach did nothing to stop the Virus is still a mystery.

A few weeks ago I walked into the clubhouse and was greeted by the music of Lawrwence Welk and Barry Mannilow wafting from every corner.And the starting RF was sashaying across the room in a megentia and safron ensamble.Then he entered the room where the hottubs are located and i could hear squeals and someone Shouted "Butter UP" And the Giggling was everywhere.

Well I knew I had to do something right away or we would have to change our name to the New York Riverdancers.So we started by yanking {no pun intended] out all the hotubs and sit down toilets [A real man doesn't need to sit to shit].And replaced them with single shower stalls and Urinals.

Then we require all players and coaching staff to attend 2 hours of Video class where we show John wayne movies with Marlboro man Commercials .The only official clubhouse music is a mix of Country Music and Heavy Metal .
After Weeks of decontamination the Virus that Mr Bubbles Unleashed on our club started to disapate .Now the only sign that the pestialence even happened is when occasionally the bullpen dresses up like the Village People ,But then again everyone knows Relief pitchers are crazy to begin with.

So fair warning to all the owners in "the Onion" Mr Bubbles is a real menace and you could be his next victim .